Tips and Tricks for Navigating the Return to the Hub

By: The Kellogg Comedy Club  

January means that Kellogg students will be getting their good ole dose of global warming as temperatures range from “mildly cold” to “even that one kid in middle school who only wears gym shorts is wearing pants today.” But the infamous Midwest winter is not the only challenge we all face returning to the culinary oasis that is Evanston. Perhaps you’re wondering, is my apartment still standing after a month away? Will the consulting offer day TG be a celebration or will I be the group chat therapist all night long? How many wigs will I need to get me through the winter? 

Here at The Kelloggian, we thought we could help by sharing a few of our favorite Do’s and Dont’s for the winter quarter.   

Do: Be loud and proud about how well your recruiting journey is going!  

Getting interviews at every one of MBBDALOL7$;p is an impressive achievement that everyone will want to hear about, whether they knew you were recruiting or not! Your friend may have bombed their only interview, but your amazingness will be sure to cheer them up.  

Don’t: Get stuck in the same “What’d you do for break?” small talk.  

Check out our infographic below on how to navigate the most common boring conversation you’ll be having for the next few weeks.

Do: Share every detail of YOUR break all across the Hub! 

People love people with passion! Your excitement over all the sleep you caught up on is the difference between boring small talk (see above) and one of the coolest stories they have ever heard.   

Don’t: Miss a golden opportunity to deepen a friendship.  

The friendships you made at Big Ski are some of the most valuable and genuine relationships the world has ever known. If you see someone in the Hub and they lead with something like “OMG hi” or “Hey man,” even though there is no possible way they could have ever forgotten your name, take this as an opportunity to build on that friendship. Gently remind them your name, the exact moment you met, and every conversation you’ve had since to reminisce on all the good times you’ve had together. Then, ask them nicely to never do it again so they understand how you felt and so they can become better Kellogg Leaders. Chances are they’ll thank you later 😊  

Do: Support the local businesses that need it the most.  

Times are tough. Unfortunately, Evanston has seen yet another local eatery shut down. In these trying times, consider those who are being hit the hardest: your friends in private equity. Returns are dwindling, and construction costs are growing even higher than their 25-story high-rise can reach. Consider shopping big this January, and support the funds that drive Evanston backward. Someone has to make up for all that lost rent! 

Don’t: Miss out on one of the last few opportunities to bond with your friends  

You’ll have many more Januarys to be dry and lame. Don’t start now.  

  More by The Kellogg Comedy Club: December at Kellogg: What Really Happens Inside the Global Hub Is V02 Max the New Social Currency at Kellogg?