Winning KWEST Decided for 2025 Season

By: Tom Stoback, Kellogg Comedy Club

What exactly holds together "the fabric of Kellogg" is a hotly debated topic around the global hub these days. The term is often thrown around to disparage the antics of the newest class, but yet still seems to be ill-defined. Is it the feeling of community that the global hub offers? A universal disdain for undergrads in the Gordon line? Wearing a Kris Jenner wig to drink Jager bombs on a Tuesday night and calling it networking? Commitment to the famed “seven beer TG challenge” and mercilessly shaming those on Monday morning who decided to skip for weak excuses like "family in town" or "funeral"? These are all strong contenders for the crown of the central, unifying truth of Kellogg that brings together JD/MBAs and second-year sponsored consultants who can't bother to sign their name on the group project (or open the group document to realize their name is missing in the first place).

I, however, pose another option—one that is truly universal, a truth that is known to every Kellogg student from the moment they walk into CIM that stays with them for the rest of their lives. A shared belief so core to each student that no one would dare debate its validity. It is so central to our culture that it is rumored to be up for inclusion in the Kellogg Honor code at the next revision.

There are few greater feelings of power and joy than Slack clout. 

Is it what the Kellogg Administration would hold up as a badge of our shared culture? Likely not. Will students write home about a funny Slack comment to prospective students as a reason they should attend the school? Not for anyone they care enough to talk to again. But is it a foundational belief of our society, that every member of the Kellogg Community holds near and dear to their hearts? I would argue yes.

Slack is a jungle of events you don’t care about and articles you have zero intent of reading (maybe even this one) being sent to you in 12 different forums. It’s where you go to schedule a finance group meeting with a group of people who would rather skinny dip in Lake Michigan in December than respond to your calendar invite. It’s where the CMC can find you when you’re doing everything in your power to avoid thinking about recruiting for just five seconds in your day. But with all that, comes the high of having dozens of people you’ve never met or heard of drop fire emojis on you roasting your friend's brutal #hot_take. It’s where you can post the picture of your Podmate from last Halloween that you promised you’d never, ever share and have half the school tell you how much they loved it. It’s where you can break down the awkward barriers of your class by pointing out how your professor is worse at pronouncing your classmates’ names than a substitute teacher in a Key and Peele skit. Slack is the Kellogg Townsquare where it all comes together. Emoji reactions are our currency. Comments are a pillar of our democracy.

And this currency is what finally gives us the avenue to answer the age-old question: who had the best KWEST?

Almost as hotly debated as the true "fabric of Kellogg," the “best KWEST” has been an annual topic of discussion for centuries, never to be resolved. That is, until the geniuses behind the Kellogg Comedy Club gave us our balancing scales.

Recently, the Club advertised a KWEST Meme competition to determine superiority. Each KWEST was asked to submit the names of two trip tributes who could defend the honor of their KWEST with their best attempt at a Kellogg-inspired meme. No further guidelines, nothing off limits, a no-holds bar cage match to be written into the Kellogg record books as the first true “best KWEST," with the winner to be decided via Slack emojis and affirmative comments.

12 teams entered the arena, and three finalists were chosen. Armenia, Chile, and Costa Rica battled off the competitors fiercely to attempt to enter the hallowed halls of famed Kellogg Leaders and proud Mama Birds alike. But in the end, only one could emerge.

imglip.com

Despite valiant efforts from the Chileans and Costa Freakans, KWESTMENIA lapped its competition, nearly tripling the emoji reacts of the second best KWEST. The meme in question shall be etched into KWEST history, and KWEST leaders everywhere have begun scouting the incoming class of leaders to find the funniest KWESTies.

But today, bragging rights remain with the KWESTMENIANS, as determined by the true fabric of Kellogg.

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